Homesteading with Littles is Not for the faint of Heart
When your sweaty feverish whimpering half asleep baby head butts you so hard in the mouth you have to stifle a scream while a whimpering sick baby alpaca sleeps in your kitchen and your husband may or may not be sleeping like a drunk gumby on top of his computer because he really hasn't slept in two weeks and your cat is giving the alpaca the hairy eyeball and you have to figure out how to drag your newly (again!!!) sick ass butt outside in negative 18 degree weather to check on the other alpaca baby while your human baby can't go out in that weather and his play yard is filled with hay and a sick alpaca and your husband is either desperately programming and can't watch the human baby or asleep like a sad muppet and can't watch the baby who will probably be screaming angrlly at being woken, it really feels like there are not enough adult humans living in this house. I really wish there were at least one more Melissa to take care of everybody. I know I can let some of the animals go but they are all culls with no "value" and are more likely to end up as meat than pets (and how can you let someone eat your family? Maybe a brother but a sheep? My beloved Fava Bean?). So I stumble through, trying to learn how to balance everyone's needs and hoping we all survive until the human baby is old enough to tip toe quietly through the cold night with his mama, having midnight adventures and loving it, because really, he is a mini me and if I ever doubted it, tonight is the night when I would have said, "ah yes, that little nutter is mine" after he stole a clove of raw garlic out of my hand and munched and winced and munched and winced until I took it away because it really does hurt so good and garlic is love and almost no one in this world eats garlic like an apple except us two lone Italian mutts living on a hill in rural Vermont. In the morning, more adults will grace us like angels of mercy - vets and grandparents. Until then, send love like wings to lift us, or better yet, love in the shape of dolphins to rescue us from the waves, from the deep cold currents. Our problems are small, pebbles at the feet of mountains, but the heart breaks all the same when you can't save them all.